Jon Moton – Lead Pastor Student Ministries
Last weekend at our parenting conference I had the privilege to lead a discussion with preteen and teen parents. We discussed different parenting styles and challenges in today’s culture.
It seems that more and more parents these days just don’t know how to parent and instead resort to unhealthy and even irresponsible types of parenting. There are 8 patterns of problem parents. Are you one or do you know one? In his book Generation iY, Tim Elmore identifies 8 types of damaging parenting that have developed out of the new generation of children and their parents.
- Helicopter Parents–hovers too close
- Karaoke Parents–try too hard to be cool (and they’re not)
- Dry-cleaner Parents–drop their kids off for others to raise
- Volcano Parents–erupt over minor issues
- Dropout Parents–let their kids down
- Bullied Parents–can’t stand up to their kids
- Groupie Parents–treat their kids like rock stars
- Commando Parents–let “rules” trump relationship
We discussed the tension and rationale for these parenting styles. That these styles come from a place of fear and a feeling of being overwhelmed.
Unfortunately, our teen children don’t come with an instruction manual – but there is a goal that we striving for. We want to raise our teens to be authentic adults. In the age of technology and information. Our Adolescence is expanding in both directions-starting earlier and ending later. Adulthood seems to be coming later and later. We need to help our teen children understand what maturity looks like how it impacts society, and how to create a balanced environment that enables them to lead themselves well and influence others in a positive way.
Tim Elmore’s other book Artificial Maturity, equips parents to:
- Give students the experiences they need to balance consumption of information with true development.
- Help kids mature by having healthy levels of autonomy and responsibility
- Understand and practice the leadership kids need to become self-sufficient adults
- Create teachable moments to show students they are capable of more than they realized
May we begin parenting with the end in mind and continue to develop our teens to be what God has planned for them.