Jason Person – Lead Student Pastor
How big is Your God?
Sounds like a strange question, right? As believers we all worship the same God. The problem occurs when we start putting God into boxes. By boxes I mean we try to contain God to our understanding. As soon as this happens, God that is much bigger than us, starts to get smaller and depending on the size of the box you place God in determines the size of YOUR God. In my experience this usually occurs when something happens that we can’t explain or don’t understand or even worse when we want to be in control.
Let me tell you why this question is on my mind. For five plus years my wife and I have been trying to have a baby. Through years of prayer, years of multiple routes of fertility treatments, we finally were pregnant at the end of last year! Unfortunately, the pregnancy ended a short six weeks with a miscarriage. My thought…how big is my God?
In March 2016 God really delivered! We were a little shocked at the news we received as we sat in the Dr.’s office. The news that we were having TWINS! The news seemed a bit daunting at first but soon the joy and excitement started to pour over!
The first trimester was a little rough for my wife but she was surviving and the babies were healthy. At 18 weeks pregnant we had a big ultrasound where they check everything on the babies. They measured their little hearts, brains, necks, legs, noses, toes and everything else you could imagine. They also look at the gender. Both babies measured and checked out perfectly healthy and on track for a great delivery. We chose to not find out the genders in the office but rather to do a gender reveal a few days later on my wife’s 33rd birthday. Our friends made two different cakes for our gender reveal. My wife cut the first cake for babe A and it was blue. We were having a boy! I cut the second the cake for babe B and it was pink. A girl! We were having a boy and a girl! How perfect was this! All of our prayers had been answered plus some. We were finally having not one but two babies! I can’t think of a time when I was more excited. My thought…how big is my God?
Three weeks later at our 21 week appointment with only 15 weeks left till our due date, the doctor did some quick measurements and then looked at the babies and their heart beats. We got the heart retching news that Baby B, our little girl, didn’t have a heartbeat.
We sat there shocked. Neither said a word. We just sat there. When we got home we just held each other and cried. My thought…how big is my God?
We had so many questions:
How could this happen?
Why would God allow this?
What does this mean for our little boy?
We were at a loss and we hurt but we knew one thing, our God is bigger than our pain. This doesn’t mean that we don’t hurt or have questions; it means that God does not fit into any box. He is and only is in control. He loves us unconditionally and knows our pain.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Tears came to eyes while writing this, as it has only been one week since the news our little girl is with Jesus. The pain is still real and I don’t understand why we are going through this. But one thing I do understand, OUR God is bigger than our pain. He is bigger then any box you or I could even try to place Him in. I chose to have my God so big that He and only He is in control of my life.
So, how big is Your God?