Fear of Failure

Rebekah Madonia – Video Team Lead

Do you ever find yourself worried about things that are beyond your control? Worried that you might make the wrong decision? Unsure if the path you choose might be a mistake? I go through phases with this kind of worry. In one season I’m able to sit back and just enjoy the ride of life, in another I spend wasted hours obsessing over things I simply cannot do anything about.

I remember a time when I was obsessively worried about something in particular. I would talk to God about it often and always try and reassure Him that I trusted Him. I feel sometimes people put the message out there that if we “really trust God” then we simply wouldn’t worry about anything. Well, with as much as I was freaking out on the inside, I felt the need to constantly let God know “I trust Him” because on top of everything I was worried about, I couldn’t add to it the worry of knowing God thought I didn’t trust Him. In hindsight, He knows my heart so I’m sure He knew I was really reminding myself that I trust Him instead of actually reminding Him that I trust Him. I remember I used to constantly tell Him, “I trust You; it’s me I don’t trust!” Which would then be followed by me worrying about all the ways I felt I could mess things up.

Sound familiar?

No? Just me?

I digress.

Well one day in particular when I was sitting in tears, desperately trying to explain to God, yet again, that it was not Him I didn’t trust but my ability to act according to His plan, He said something I will hopefully never forget.

“How much power do you think you have?”

Boom.

And just like that, the tears stopped. Just like that, I was put in my place. Instantly my mind went to stories of people who messed up, and sometimes messed up big:

Jonah. The Israelites. David.

Their mistakes had consequences, and sometimes big ones, but they didn’t have the power to mess up God’s plan for their lives.

God called Jonah to go to Nineveh, but instead Jonah ran away. If you’re familiar with this story then you know God used the forces of nature (stormy seas, a big fish) to bring Jonah back to the place God wanted him to be. Jonah had to spend some gross time in a fish’s belly and think about what he had done, but in the end, God’s plan for Jonah’s life prevailed.

Then there’s the Israelites, you gotta love these people. Mostly because they are a giant example of what NOT to do. God proved Himself over and over and over again when He delivered them from Pharaoh. His plan was to bring them into the Promise Land, which He eventually did, but even after the Israelites had experienced Gods faithfulness repeatedly, they still chose to not trust Him. Because of their lack of faith, a journey that could have taken only 11 days turned into a 40 year long trip. That’s a LONG detour.

God told King David that His son would succeed him and build a house for the Lord. Well, even though David was a man after Gods heart, he still let temptation overcome Him. He coveted a woman who wasn’t his wife, took her for his own and got her pregnant, and then had her husband killed to try and cover up his sin. That’s some heavy stuff! Despite David’s sin, God came through on His promise, but David’s sin wasn’t without consequences. The child that was born to the woman he committed adultery with was not the son that would succeed David and build the Lords house; instead he died 10 days after birth.

“How much power do you think you have?”

In that moment of correction, I knew I had let fear and doubt overtake me. I had told God over and over that I trusted His plan for me, but in thinking I could somehow thwart that, I was telling God I didn’t trust His power. In thinking I could somehow change His sovereign plan for my life, I was indirectly telling God I believed I had more power than He did. Oh, the pride I didn’t know I had!

That was a humbling moment for me. Since then, when I find myself worrying about making the wrong decision, I just ask myself “How much power do you think you have?” To which I can smile and know that God is in control, even if I make a mistake.

Fear of Failure

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About The Author
- I am the programming coordinator at Central Christian Church AZ. I also moderate the Central Teaching Blog. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!