Connor Leadley | Resident Student Pastor
Trust is hard. Trust is hard, especially when you seemingly have nothing left to trust in. There are seasons in our lives when things seem utterly hopeless. For the past month or so my wife and I have been in one of these seasons—and here’s why:
My eleven-month residency here at Central will be coming to an end in June. Knowing that the end of this program would be coming near, my wife and I started to pray about where God was calling us to go next. We had no idea where this journey would take us, and boy has it been a journey. We initially started with our most radical idea to move to Bali, Indonesia in hopes to simply live and experience a different culture. Our dream of Bali soon evolved into joining my sister and her family in Sydney, Australia, but we weren’t absolutely sold that this was where God was calling us. After some more thought we decided Portland, Oregon could be our next place of residency—we have both spent a significant amount of time in Portland and seriously love the city and the people that it has to offer—but we decided to put Portland on the back burner as well. We didn’t have a super strong calling to any of these places and really wanted a clear calling of where we were supposed to be for our next season of life together.
I’m pretty sure at this point you are thinking, typical millennial, just think that they can do whatever they want, where ever they want, whenever they want. That’s okay. Because, to be honest, I do feel this way—I think that God can do whatever he wants, wherever he wants, whenever he wants. And that as his child, you can be a part of that when you trust in him. I believe that if you take a leap of faith that is so big that you are completely dependent on God that you really can do whatever God wants you to do, wherever God wants, and whenever God wants.
But it’s all about trusting God—even in total uncertainty.
And so, once my wife and I came to this realization that we just need to completely trust God with where He is going to call us, we got our calling—Chicago, IL. WHAT!? The mid-west? Are you serious, God? Don’t you know that I was raised in the desert? Did you forget that my wife is from sunny Temecula, California? I am sure you can see why some hesitations with this calling to Chicago rose to the surface. However, as we continued to pray, it became so clear to us that this is where God wants us to go.
So now the trust part comes in.
You would think that such a clear call would lead to a smooth road to Chicago, but that has not been the case. We have yet to figure out where we will work, or where we will live. We know we are supposed to go but nothing is happening. What the heck, God!
So as we are continuing our search for jobs and places to live and a church to be a part of we have had to completely be 100% dependent on God with this move. We have our date set and are going to move there no matter what. If we end up having to go without jobs we have enough saved to survive for a while until we find something, but as you could imagine this is very uncomfortable and is not ideal. Yet, we are trusting God. We are trusting God’s calling on our lives to be the hands and feet of Jesus, no matter what we are doing occupationally.
You see, seasons of discomfort and uncertainty often cause us either to question God or to completely trust in Him. We’ve decided to get uncomfortable and trust God completely. We all have something that we are holding on to that keeps us comfortable and safe but is hindering us from completely trusting in God. What is that for you? Are you willing to let go of it?